Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.
The Washington Post ran a contest awhile back and asked their readers to take a word from the dictionary, alter it by subtracting or changing one letter and then supply a new definition. Here are some of the winners!
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very high on walls.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.
Hipatitus: Terminal coolness.
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Here is a collection of Church Bulletin Bloopers:
1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. Conference. "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals".
3. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
4. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands".
5. Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowler. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
6. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
7. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
8. The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water'. The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus'.
9. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
10. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
11. The "Over 60's Choir" will be disbanded for the summer with thanks.
12. The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
13. Remember in prayer those who are sick of our church and community.
14. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a terrible experience".
Do yourself a favor, before you pay your next utility bill...
before you pay another dime to heat or cool our house...make
sure you visit http://www.CleanEnergySecrets.com/homeowner,
because what you know and when you know it can either cost
you or save you thousands of dollars $$$$$.
Ignorance can be expensive and painful.
http://www.CleanEnerySecrets.com/homeowner
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Are you serious about dramatically reducing your federal,
state, and social security taxes forever?
If so, you came to the right place.
Let Sandy Botkin show you how to massively reduce your
taxes - legally, morally, and ethically
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Is someone's snoring keeping you up at night?
If so, you're not alone.
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Inspirational Quote
The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts.
- Earl Nightingale
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